Party Politics

There’s a point to this I promise

I plan my birthday party and life on Pinterest

Watching pre-recorded concerts alone in my room

Talking to myself in the car about things that really “matter”

The things that would make a small person think they sound important

I get ready for the winter

Red lips and gold highlight

Find the perfect outfit for one class

1 hour and 45 minutes

There’s a point

I’ve always liked the way I looked

I’ve always liked the way it felt to pretend I was in a movie

I never liked not feeling real

Not really feeling

I don’t think it’s my fault, maybe my brain’s

Maybe there’s a reason

The sun is out for 6 hours a day

Most of it is cloudy

I can’t wait for snow; I would hate to drive in it

My lights flicker so I watch movies in the dark

I think it’s fucking up my brain

I’ve always liked my birthday

But when I was little party planning would bring me immense stress

Every other year I’d have no friends

Every other year we’d have a family party

I loved the attention anyway

New years baby counting down to when I’m not important anymore

I love making things pretty

I don’t know what they mean

I remember learning the word aesthetic

Being made fun of for how often I used it

I loved the idea of communicating something with functionally nothing

Bringing everyone’s attention to something that didn’t really matter

I’d find a superficial point

Make meaning out of nothing

I think the reason anything means something is fake

It’s a photo on Pinterest

I save morning coffee to my vision board but hate the taste

Love the look of snow, hate to drive in it

Mesmerized by party hats and disco balls

Knowing the next morning will go back to the mundane

This isn’t important

No one would say this at a party and think they were prolific

That’s not the point

The beauty of the superficial is that it means nothing until we tell it to

Or maybe there’s nothing with that meaning until we make it